Open Adoption and Me

I have come to notice that not very many people understand open adoptions. I have gotten some strange comments when I tell people that we want an open adoption. (Don't feel bad about this if it's you...how could you know?)

So as of late, I have felt this little need to educate the world in my own little way about what open adoption really means. There is a lot of negative stigma surrounded with adoption...on both ends...on the end of the birth parents, and on the end of the adoptive parents. Mostly you only hear about the negative. But I assure you that there is MUCH more good surrounded with adoption than there is bad.

We want an open adoption. No contest. If two adoptive mothers handed me babies and I had to pick one, and one mother wanted open adoption, and the other wanted a closed adoption and never expected anything from us ever again, I would pick the open adoption without any hesitation.

People think that inviting this birth mother into your life is taboo. It's only something you should do if you have to-in order to get the baby. Wrong. Open adoption are healthier...for everyone. Including the adoptive family.

This woman is giving someone her child. If it was you, would you feel better about it if you got to see your child, know him, love him, and see that he was being properly cared for? If you had no idea what ever happened to your baby, wouldn't you always wonder, and wouldn't you always have a hole in your heart not knowing. Wouldn't you regret the decision a lot less if you became a part of the adoptive family's life?

And as an adopted child, wouldn't you want to know who your mother was, why she placed you, and get rid of all of the negative stigma associated with "Why didn't my mother want me?" Adopted children have MUCH MUCH higher self esteem, generally happiness, and contentment when they know their birth parents.

What is wrong with inviting some one who OBVIOUSLY thought you were someone great-in order to pick you to raise their child, into your life. Why is that bad? Why does that have negative stigma for everyone?

Adoption REALLY is about love. It's about Christ like love. Its about accepting PEOPLE (not just a baby) into your family. So often you hear that adoptive parents JUST want a baby, and will do anything to get one. And so often you hear that birth moms hate the family that adopted their child. That is because the very small percentage of those that there are-those are the ones people talk about. Those are the ones the news reports. There is another side to the adoption coin, and it is a lot bigger, and worth a lot more than the "tails" side.

I know that not everyone is comfortable with the same things, and that is why there are many different types of adoptions. But I pray every night that we will find (or be found by) a birth mother that wants to be a part of our family. I pray that she will become my dear friend and sister. I truly desire her presence in our lives.